May 21

Today doesn’t come around all the time, you know, cherish it. Today in 1934 the crime-ridden cesspool of Oskaloosa, Iowa became the first city in the United States to fingerprint all of its citizens, including the children, who would think long and hard before they tried to shoplift again, the punks. Fingerprinting wouldn’t have helped in one of Japan’s most notorious crimes, which came to a conclusion today in 1936 when a woman named Sada Abe was arrested after wandering the streets of Tokyo for three days with her dead boyfriend’s severed penis in her purse. Why did she have her dead boyfriend’s severed penis in her purse? Boy, what a great questions but I think you and I both know that that there isn’t an answer I can give that would explain it. The quick answer is that she and her boyfriend were fucking crazy and enjoyed strangling each other and holding knives to each other when they copulated. One day this went a little far and, once the guy’s dead, you might as well take something to remember him by, right? The details are both gruesome and psychologically disgusting and while I won’t write about it here, I fully recommend you read about it here. Today in 1946, physicist Louis Slotin was irradiated at the Los Alamos National Laboratory during an experiment with nuclear fission. Slotin was performing a study in which he placed two half-spheres of beryllium around a plutonium core, however, his screwdriver slipped and one of the beryllium half-spheres fell and the scientists saw a blue glow of air ionization. This seemed like a great way to receive super-powers but alas, it just killed him. 

Bobby Cox, longtime manager of the Atlanta Braves who has the dubious distinction of being ejected from a record number of games, including two in the World Series, was born today. The Notorious B.I.G who, because of what he deemed “techniques drippin’ out my butt cheeks,” was forced to sleep on his stomach, lest he “fuck up” his sheets. He was born today. 

 

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