May 20

It’s today, people, get ready. Today is the day that Thomas Edison made his prototype kinetoscope public in 1891, one of the earliest motion picture distribution devices. Edison was a genius and a visionary but it would take him nearly a decade before he could figure out how to show racist movies out of his invention. Today in 1896, a six ton chandelier fell on the crowd at the Palais Garnier causing twitter to explode with white whines; “UGH. Hard to enjoy Gounod’s Faust at the Garnier when a 6-ton bronze & crystal chandelier chased by Lacarière, Delatour & Cie falls on me. #WorstEver.” Today in 2002 East Timor was recognized by Portugal for the first time.

INT. NIGHT – PARTY SCENE

INDONESIA: What’s up, man?

PORTUGAL: Not much, man. Just doing like I do.

INDONESIA: Hey, do you recognize that guy over there?

PORTUGAL: Which one?

INDONESIA: That guy in the tank top talking to Burundi.

PORTUGAL: Oh yeah. I know that asshole. That’s uh, his name is, uh, that’s East Timor. New Guinea introduced him to me at China’s white party last year.

Honore de Balzac, French novelist and statue model, was born today. Two Oscar winners, Jimmy Stewart and Cher, were born today. Trevor Tahiem Smith, Jr, better known as Busta Rhymes, was born today.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage died today.

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