May 16

What do you know, it’s today again. Today in 1843, the first major wagon train, which included one thousand pioneers heading for the Pacific Northwest, set out on the Oregon Trail from Elm Grove, Missouri. This journey was later captured on floppy disc and spread the world over. It may surprise you but the Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium, the company that developed the original Oregon Trail game has developed 7 versions since 2000, including ones for Nintendo Wii and Android devices. The game was developed as an educational tool but has done very little other than to make light of dysentery  of which 100,000 people die ever year and that’s no laughing matter. Shame on you, Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium. Today is the day that the first Academy Awards were handed out in 1929. The event was a private brunch at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, they handed out 15 statues, though the winners had been announced three months earlier. It was the worst ratings in the history of the Oscars. Today Bob Dylan released his greatest album, the first double-album in rock history, Blonde on Blonde, the greatest piece of art with a pointless lesbian title since that poster of chicks kissing that bros put on their dorm room wall. 

Some days you need to take stock of how lucky you are. For example, it’s Mass Graves Day in Iraq. Just be grateful you don’t live in a place that has a holiday called Mass Graves Day.

Pierce Brosnan was born today.

James Agee, one of the great film critics ever to live, died today. Andy Kaufman and Jim Henson died today. Bodacious, a rodeo bull who was commonly respected as the world’s most dangerous bull, died today. Bodacious had a particular move that would bedevil and injure riders. He would buck up his hind legs, causing the rider to shift forward and then he would lift his head up at full force, smashing the rider’s face with the back of Bodacious’ head. Rodeo rider Scott Breding, instead of, you know, not riding the world’s most dangerous bull, thought he would wear a hockey mask to protect him from this move but it did nothing to stop Bodacious’ terrible fury and the mask was shattered, Breding had his nose broken and his eye sockets burst. Bodacious will be missed.

None of these people (or bovines) died of dysentery but, seriously people, it’s the silent killer.

Leave a Reply