May 14

I wouldn’t lie to you, it’s today. Today is the day, in 1509, of the Battle of Agnadello, in which French forces defeated the Venetians, which is more than we can say for this cat. Today, 1643, Louis XIV became the King of France at the age of 4. It’s hard to believe it would be another 150 years before countries decided it would be better to have adults vote for other adults for this kind of thing but there it is. Speaking of things only adults should do, today in 1939, a five-year-old Peruvian girl named Lina Medina was taken to the hospital because of the large size of her stomach, which her parents feared was a tumor. As it turned out, she was pregnant. At the age of 5. The girl gave birth to a 6 lb son today just 5 years and 7 months after the day she was born, which means she was 4 years old when she was impregnated. There is no explanation as to who is the father (Medina’s father was arrested on suspicion but there was no evidence) and there is no medical explanation about how a child could have another child. Medina, who lives in Lima today, watching 16 and Pregnant and scoffs.

George Lucas, greed-screen enthusiast and alleged childhood ruiner of people who were pretty sad to begin with, was born today in this galaxy not that long ago. Cate Blanchett, for whom I hold a candle, was born today. Mark Zuckerberg, inventor of a popular website, was born today.

Frank Sinatra died today.

Leave a Reply